So, today is a bit of a different post. This post has absolutely nothing to do with music whatsoever and I'm hoping there's more of these to come. First I just need to get off my lazy arse and do something about it!
In March this year, I had my grandfather pass away and it was one of the worst things I have ever been through. It was also the first time I had dealt with someone in the family or close to me dying, so it was a bit of a shock. The first thing I realised was there's no right or wrong way to process grief. It's a process that is unique to absolutely everyone. There's no list or textbook way on how to process grief; you just gotta go with the flow and do what comes naturally.
If you're struggling on how to deal with situations like these and you google "Stages of Grief", you get so many different results. But don't feel as though you're limited to any of these 'stages'. You could go through some stages and not others, you could go through them all but in a different order. The process is different for everyone and if you try to categorise it and break it down you're only going to make it worse for yourself!
The first thing you have got to remember is that you've just lost someone who could be very near and dear to your heart and that you feel like shit so you pretty much have a right to take it easy for a while. Also, don't let people judge you or make you feel like you shouldn't do what you're doing in order to cope. You have to do what works for you and you only.
If you wanna go for a 10KM run, then you go for that run.
If you wanna eat a pint of ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner, then you eat every last spoonful.
If you want to sit and cry in the shower and listen to music, then you cry those goddamn tears.
If you wanna punch and break shit, then you get aggressive (but not too aggressive).
If you want to drive around to clear your head, then you get in that car and go.
If you wanna just go out with friends and drink away your sorrows then do it (safely).
The worst thing I did was let someone make me feel bad for the way I decided to grieve. Instead of just letting myself go through what I had to go through naturally, I bottled it up and did what some people thought was right until one afternoon all the emotions just flooded out all at once.
You have just gotta do what you know will help you get through the day and thats all that matters. Some people might think the right way to grieve and deal with loss is to go through certain stages or to do things one way instead of another, but thats okay because if that is what helps them cope, then thats all that matters.
Just keep in mind that you will get through it and you don't have to feel bad if your coping mechanisms are different to your Mum's, Dad's, Brother's, Friends…whatever. Chin up and you'll get there in due time :)
Rest In Peace Grandad. Not a day goes by where I don't think about you Xx
